The following tips and strategies were collectively developed at the January 23, 2021 Feedists for Fat Liberation (FFL) event to help people feel more comfortable with being open about their feedist sexuality.

  • Work with a therapist
  • Attend FFL events
  • Establish communication about what to reveal and when to reveal it
  • Accepting that you cannot change people’s reactions to what you say requires emotional energy
  • Focus on your own responses
  • Get to know people after they have gained weight. Communicate with others that weight is not an issue but rather a source of happiness
  • Talk to people who are safe as a way to build confidence to talk in more situations
  • Respect the differences between individuals and recognize that each person has a different relationship with their weight. Be cautious about not projecting your own feelings onto other people
  • Use CBT strategies. Trying to look for the positives as opposed to focusing on the negative
  • Find partners who share your sexual preferences
  • Identify circles of people – who can you be most open with? Who is the least open?
  • Challenge internal thought patterns and beliefs
  • Making friends in the feedist community helps break down shame walls
  • Learn more about fat liberation
  • Build a feedist community/network
  • Don’t focus on what others say in judgement/misunderstanding when being more open
  • Be transparent and honest with yourself
  • Have a trusted person you can check in with if you are feeling overwhelmed
  • Open up to like minded folks
  • Avoid kink shaming one another